EDITORIAL: Oops!!! Ouch!!!

EDITORIAL

Oops!!!  Ouch!!!

Oops!!!  Oops II!!!

Ouch!!! 

Nuff said.

EDITORIAL: Russian Technology Unbound

EDITORIAL

Russian Technology Unbound

Imagine an eagle soaring proudly around the earth in orbit at supersonic speed.  Suddenly, the evil Hubble Space Telescope comes into view.  The eagle’s eyes glisten with sparks of bravery, it turns its back on the devilish American craft and a powerful red-white-and-blue laser beam shoots out of the eagle’s buttocks, blinding the telescope and rendering the demonic Americans helpless.  Their own national symbol has laid them low!

Who in the world could be capable of putting forth such amazing technology to advance the fight against the evil empire that is the USA?  Only Vladimir Putin’s Russia, that’s who!

EDITORIAL: Putin in Space

EDITORIAL

Putin in Space

Just as there are any number of ignorant Russians who, hilariously, believe their country really only leased Alaska to the United States, there are many who will insist that the Americans never landed a man on the moon (not even once, much less multiple times). Apparently Americans are not clever enough to do so — but more than clever enough to fool the rest of the world into thinking that they did!

Such ignorance, such laughable stupidity, and such mind-boggling contradictions are what emerge from decades of crazed, feverish neo-Soviet propaganda.  Even watching the Soviet system destroyed was not sufficient to convince hapless Russians to reject it.  So right after it fell, the rushed to put the KGB right back in power, in the person of Vladimir Putin — doing so because a man they claimed to hate, Boris Yeltsin, told them to.

The latest instance of Russian brain fever has the population believing that even though Russia, admittedly, has never even once landed a man on the moon, it will build a station and start permanently living there by 2030.

We would find Russian belief in such a notion hilarious were it not for the dire consquences it suggests for the country and its future.

EDITORIAL: Disaster in South Korea

EDITORIAL

Disaster in South Korea

Last week the world saw clearly what happens when a nation looks to Russia for technology.  That nation crashes and burns spectacularly.

Quite frankly, we see it as being not just ridiculous but blatantly offensive for an impoverished, backwards nation like Russia to be engaged in any way in a space program.  The billions of dollars Russia spends each year developing missiles and rockets, all in a frenzied and desperate desire to compete with the United States, should instead be spent on meeting the actual needs of the people of Russia.

EDITORIAL: Look, up in the Sky! It’s Super Russia!

EDITORIAL

Look, up in the Sky! It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s Super Russia!

Of all the ridiculous, asinine “ideas” to emerge from the fetid wasteland that is neo-Soviet Russia (floating nuclear power stations, building islands in the Black Sea, colonizing Mars, walking on the Moon, etc.) surely the most side-splittingly ludicrous of them all is the Kremlin’s “plan” to “save the Earth” from a killer asteroid by blasting it with a Russian-made missile.

Russian GPS: SNAFU

CNN reports:

Late last month Moscow celebrated the birthday of Father Frost, the Russian iteration of Santa Claus, with a new-fangled announcement: Father Frost’s retinue would move through the holiday skies aided by Glonass, the Russian answer to GPS.

Eagerly waiting children could track his movement online, while he could simultaneously improve his gift-giving efficiency. “Now Father Frost can be sure,” his press release said. “He can monitor his helpers through the Internet, even when he himself leaves for another city.”

EDITORIAL: Russia goes into the Toilet

EDITORIAL

Russia goes into the Toilet

“It’s built on technologies dating back to the mid-1980s, at the very latest. We are lagging seven to 30 years back in various space technologies.”

— Russian astronaut Gennady Padalka, talking to the Russian newspaper Novaya Gazeta

That was the response of “Cosmonaut” Padalka describing the Russian-made alternative after being informed that he wouldn’t be able to use the flashy American toilet on the international space station, but would be relegated instead to the Russian one, and wouldn’t be able to use any exercise machine at all since, while the Americans have a cool one, the Russian section doesn’t have any at all.

At least Padalka has a toilet of some kind. Huge swaths of Russia’s population, to this day, rely on the outhouse.  They have their hot water cut off by the state in the summer, and sometimes go without running water of any kind.  These are just two of the many reasons that Russia doesn’t rank in the top 100 countries of the world for male adult lifespan, and why it loses up to 1 million people from its population every year.

One may well ask, then, where all the billions of oil revenue windfalls that Russia received over the past several years have gone.  There is only one answer, of course:  The Kremlin has flushed them down the toilet of a paranoid, aggressive, neo-Soviet new cold war with the United States.

Annals of Russian Success in Space

AFP reports:

A Russian Proton-M rocket blasted off Saturday from Kazakhstan’s Baikonur cosmodrome carrying a US communications satellite, but failed to put the satellite in its intended orbit, Russian space officials said. “The acceleration bloc Briz-M’s engine failed to work the whole scheduled time, and the satellite could not be taken to the planned orbit,” officials in the Khrunichev space center said in a statement on the center’s Web site. Space officials were trying to determine the satellite’s current orbit and whether it was still possible to use it as planned, officials added. The AMC-14 satellite, produced by the Lockheed-Martin, is owned by SES Americom, a major telecommunications provider for North and South America. It includes an active phase array payload, which the company hailed as a key satellite technology for future missions.

Thanks for reading La Russophobe !

Another Triumph of Superior Russian Technology

The Sydney Morning Herald reports that nobody breeds a cockroach quite like a Russian:

A Russian cockroach called Nadezhda (Hope) has given birth to the first creatures ever conceived in space, scientists in Voronezh, central Russia, said. Nadezhda conceived during the Foton-M bio-satellite September 14-26 flight. “We recently received the first batch of 33 cockroaches conceived in microgravity,” Dmitry Atyakshin said. Though the newborn creatures already eat and drink respectively well, microgravity conditions may have had an impact on the natural darkening of their chitinous carapace, a part of a cockroach’s exoskeleton. “Cockroaches are born with a transparent carapace, which gradually turns into brown, and the space cockroaches went darker earlier than usual,” the scientist explained, adding that final conclusions would only be able to drawn only after the second female had given birth. “We are pleased by the very fact that they (the cockroaches) came into being,” Atyakshin added.

The first unmanned Foton-type spacecraft was introduced in 1985 by the Soviet Union and was based on the famous Vostok spacecraft, which carried the world’s first astronaut, Yuri Gagarin, into orbit in 1961. Since 1980, a total of 12 Foton spacecraft have been launched. The September 14-26 flight was part of an ongoing experiment into the effects of space flight by the Institute of Biomedical Problems (IBMP). The creatures were sealed in special containers, and a video camera filmed them during the flight.

Thanks for reading La Russophobe !

Annals of Russian Technology

It’s not only advisable to avoid flying in Russian planes, but Russian rocket ships as well. The problem may begin with the fact that Russia doesn’t even have it’s own launch facility and has to borrow one from another country. A furious Kazakhstan has accused Russia of ignoring the safety of its population. The Moscow Times reports:

A Proton-M rocket carrying a Japanese communications satellite malfunctioned after liftoff Thursday and crashed in Kazakhstan, officials said. Nobody was hurt, but all launches of Proton rockets from the Baikonur Cosmodrome were suspended, pending an investigation. The rocket failed to put the JCSAT-11 satellite into orbit because of a problem during the second stage, the U.S.-based American-Russian joint venture International Launch Services said. The rocket failed 139 seconds after its launch from the Russian-rented cosmodrome in Kazakhstan, and its second and third stages veered from the planned trajectory at an altitude of 74 kilometers, said Alexander Vorobyov, a spokesman for the Federal Space Agency. Under an agreement with Kazakhstan, launches of Proton rockets were automatically suspended until the cause of the crash is determined, he said. He said that was unlikely to affect future launches, but an official at state-controlled Khrunichev State Research and Production Center, which makes Proton rockets, said it would depend on when an official investigative commission delivers its report. Following an accident involving a different kind of rocket launched from Baikonur last year, the report came in about six weeks, and Proton launches are scheduled for November and December, Khrunichev spokesman Alexander Bobrenyov said. Kazakh space agency chief Talgat Musabayev said the accident was likely caused by the failure of steering mechanisms aboard the rocket, but Bobrenyov said it was too early to make that determination. The rocket was carrying more than 200 tons of fuel, including highly toxic heptyl, Musabayev said, expressing concern about contamination around the crash site, an uninhabited area. Kazakhstan would be fully compensated for environmental damage under existing agreements, Kazakh Prime Minister Karim Masimov said. Russia has been aggressively trying to expand its presence in the international market for commercial and government satellite and space-industry launches, though its efforts have seen several high-profile failures. In July 2006, a Dnepr rocket carrying 18 satellites for various clients crashed shortly after takeoff from the Baikonur, spreading highly toxic fuel over a wide swath of uninhabited territory in Kazakhstan.

Thanks for reading La Russophobe !

Now This: Russia’s Space Program in Shambles

Dr. Smith! Will Robinson! Warning! Warning! Danger, danger! RIA Novosti reports:

Nikolai Sevastyanov, now a former president of the Energiya Space Rocket Corporation – the flagship company of Russia’s space industry – was forced to step down on the last day of July, despite the support of his top management.

Officially, the Russian Space Agency, or Roskosmos, has repeatedly said that Sevastyanov’s plans, especially those concerned with manned flights, did not fit into the 2006-2015 Federal Space Program. More than that, they said the former Energiya manager’s activities were not in line with the goals facing Russia’s ambitions in space. The reference was to a new reusable space transport system and a deep space research program, or missions to the Moon and Mars.

The trouble, however, is that opponents of the disgraced top manager are not in a position to shed light on the situation surrounding the Kliper project or to explain what is being done in this direction.

“By 2014, Russia may drop behind the United States, China and the European Union in manned flights unless it continues developing a new spacecraft. By 2014, the U.S. is planning to complete a new ship, the Orion, which will put up stiff competition against our Soyuz craft on the international market. We may seriously fall behind in technologies by that time,” a worried Sevastyanov said.

It was to address that problem that the corporation had developed, mainly with extra-budgetary funds, the well-known spacecraft Kliper, which has suited Roskosmos until now and been a visiting card of Russia’s rocket industry at many international air shows, including Russia’s MAKS-2005. Now, instead of an almost implemented program, which was, according to Sevastyanov, the reason behind his dismissal, modernization of the Soyuz spacecraft, of fifty years vintage, is being suggested for the hundredth time.

“I think we will finalize the ultimate shape of the manned craft in the near future and submit our proposals to Roskosmos. I think it will be this year,” the corporation’s newly elected president, Vitaly Lopota, said on July 31. That, however, is no longer news, because this is not the first time the words have been spoken. On the other hand, his remarks about the Kliper are remarkable.

“I can say that we will not put the Kliper on view (at MAKS-2007 – A.K.). In the next few months we will take a close look at this idea, which was once voiced by former corporation manager Yury Semyonov.”

Somehow, one gets the feeling that the program for a very modern craft design is being made to appear obsolete. But does it mean, then, that the half-century-old equipment (Soyuz) is really genuine innovation?

Energiya supervises the operation of the Russian segment of the International Space Station and coordinates this unique and technologically very promising international program. But it is not clear how Roskosmos is planning to run the station in the near future with only Soyuz and Progress vehicles.

It is no secret that the Americans may either call a total halt to their orbital activities or reduce them to one-off expeditions that do not require regular flights to the station. We will be lucky if our partners manage to honor their pledge to fly enough shuttles to complete the deployment of the ISS. After that the shuttles will retire to clear the decks and provide money for a new American dream – another mission to the Moon and a flight to Mars.

You can cavil at these plans and Sevastyanov’s remarks about mining minerals on the Moon for as long as you like. Your efforts will not materialize in a new craft nor convince anybody that Russia can effectively run the completed orbital complex.

Of course, one can take it easy and continue taking pride in the number of annual launches and link research plans with the number of tourists wishing to have a ride on the ISS. But then it is not clear whether the Russian space effort has any future prospects worth pursuing.

Thanks for reading La Russophobe !

Now This: Russia’s Space Program in Shambles

Dr. Smith! Will Robinson! Warning! Warning! Danger, danger! RIA Novosti reports:

Nikolai Sevastyanov, now a former president of the Energiya Space Rocket Corporation – the flagship company of Russia’s space industry – was forced to step down on the last day of July, despite the support of his top management.

Officially, the Russian Space Agency, or Roskosmos, has repeatedly said that Sevastyanov’s plans, especially those concerned with manned flights, did not fit into the 2006-2015 Federal Space Program. More than that, they said the former Energiya manager’s activities were not in line with the goals facing Russia’s ambitions in space. The reference was to a new reusable space transport system and a deep space research program, or missions to the Moon and Mars.

The trouble, however, is that opponents of the disgraced top manager are not in a position to shed light on the situation surrounding the Kliper project or to explain what is being done in this direction.

“By 2014, Russia may drop behind the United States, China and the European Union in manned flights unless it continues developing a new spacecraft. By 2014, the U.S. is planning to complete a new ship, the Orion, which will put up stiff competition against our Soyuz craft on the international market. We may seriously fall behind in technologies by that time,” a worried Sevastyanov said.

It was to address that problem that the corporation had developed, mainly with extra-budgetary funds, the well-known spacecraft Kliper, which has suited Roskosmos until now and been a visiting card of Russia’s rocket industry at many international air shows, including Russia’s MAKS-2005. Now, instead of an almost implemented program, which was, according to Sevastyanov, the reason behind his dismissal, modernization of the Soyuz spacecraft, of fifty years vintage, is being suggested for the hundredth time.

“I think we will finalize the ultimate shape of the manned craft in the near future and submit our proposals to Roskosmos. I think it will be this year,” the corporation’s newly elected president, Vitaly Lopota, said on July 31. That, however, is no longer news, because this is not the first time the words have been spoken. On the other hand, his remarks about the Kliper are remarkable.

“I can say that we will not put the Kliper on view (at MAKS-2007 – A.K.). In the next few months we will take a close look at this idea, which was once voiced by former corporation manager Yury Semyonov.”

Somehow, one gets the feeling that the program for a very modern craft design is being made to appear obsolete. But does it mean, then, that the half-century-old equipment (Soyuz) is really genuine innovation?

Energiya supervises the operation of the Russian segment of the International Space Station and coordinates this unique and technologically very promising international program. But it is not clear how Roskosmos is planning to run the station in the near future with only Soyuz and Progress vehicles.

It is no secret that the Americans may either call a total halt to their orbital activities or reduce them to one-off expeditions that do not require regular flights to the station. We will be lucky if our partners manage to honor their pledge to fly enough shuttles to complete the deployment of the ISS. After that the shuttles will retire to clear the decks and provide money for a new American dream – another mission to the Moon and a flight to Mars.

You can cavil at these plans and Sevastyanov’s remarks about mining minerals on the Moon for as long as you like. Your efforts will not materialize in a new craft nor convince anybody that Russia can effectively run the completed orbital complex.

Of course, one can take it easy and continue taking pride in the number of annual launches and link research plans with the number of tourists wishing to have a ride on the ISS. But then it is not clear whether the Russian space effort has any future prospects worth pursuing.

Thanks for reading La Russophobe !

Now This: Russia’s Space Program in Shambles

Dr. Smith! Will Robinson! Warning! Warning! Danger, danger! RIA Novosti reports:

Nikolai Sevastyanov, now a former president of the Energiya Space Rocket Corporation – the flagship company of Russia’s space industry – was forced to step down on the last day of July, despite the support of his top management.

Officially, the Russian Space Agency, or Roskosmos, has repeatedly said that Sevastyanov’s plans, especially those concerned with manned flights, did not fit into the 2006-2015 Federal Space Program. More than that, they said the former Energiya manager’s activities were not in line with the goals facing Russia’s ambitions in space. The reference was to a new reusable space transport system and a deep space research program, or missions to the Moon and Mars.

The trouble, however, is that opponents of the disgraced top manager are not in a position to shed light on the situation surrounding the Kliper project or to explain what is being done in this direction.

“By 2014, Russia may drop behind the United States, China and the European Union in manned flights unless it continues developing a new spacecraft. By 2014, the U.S. is planning to complete a new ship, the Orion, which will put up stiff competition against our Soyuz craft on the international market. We may seriously fall behind in technologies by that time,” a worried Sevastyanov said.

It was to address that problem that the corporation had developed, mainly with extra-budgetary funds, the well-known spacecraft Kliper, which has suited Roskosmos until now and been a visiting card of Russia’s rocket industry at many international air shows, including Russia’s MAKS-2005. Now, instead of an almost implemented program, which was, according to Sevastyanov, the reason behind his dismissal, modernization of the Soyuz spacecraft, of fifty years vintage, is being suggested for the hundredth time.

“I think we will finalize the ultimate shape of the manned craft in the near future and submit our proposals to Roskosmos. I think it will be this year,” the corporation’s newly elected president, Vitaly Lopota, said on July 31. That, however, is no longer news, because this is not the first time the words have been spoken. On the other hand, his remarks about the Kliper are remarkable.

“I can say that we will not put the Kliper on view (at MAKS-2007 – A.K.). In the next few months we will take a close look at this idea, which was once voiced by former corporation manager Yury Semyonov.”

Somehow, one gets the feeling that the program for a very modern craft design is being made to appear obsolete. But does it mean, then, that the half-century-old equipment (Soyuz) is really genuine innovation?

Energiya supervises the operation of the Russian segment of the International Space Station and coordinates this unique and technologically very promising international program. But it is not clear how Roskosmos is planning to run the station in the near future with only Soyuz and Progress vehicles.

It is no secret that the Americans may either call a total halt to their orbital activities or reduce them to one-off expeditions that do not require regular flights to the station. We will be lucky if our partners manage to honor their pledge to fly enough shuttles to complete the deployment of the ISS. After that the shuttles will retire to clear the decks and provide money for a new American dream – another mission to the Moon and a flight to Mars.

You can cavil at these plans and Sevastyanov’s remarks about mining minerals on the Moon for as long as you like. Your efforts will not materialize in a new craft nor convince anybody that Russia can effectively run the completed orbital complex.

Of course, one can take it easy and continue taking pride in the number of annual launches and link research plans with the number of tourists wishing to have a ride on the ISS. But then it is not clear whether the Russian space effort has any future prospects worth pursuing.

Thanks for reading La Russophobe !

Now This: Russia’s Space Program in Shambles

Dr. Smith! Will Robinson! Warning! Warning! Danger, danger! RIA Novosti reports:

Nikolai Sevastyanov, now a former president of the Energiya Space Rocket Corporation – the flagship company of Russia’s space industry – was forced to step down on the last day of July, despite the support of his top management.

Officially, the Russian Space Agency, or Roskosmos, has repeatedly said that Sevastyanov’s plans, especially those concerned with manned flights, did not fit into the 2006-2015 Federal Space Program. More than that, they said the former Energiya manager’s activities were not in line with the goals facing Russia’s ambitions in space. The reference was to a new reusable space transport system and a deep space research program, or missions to the Moon and Mars.

The trouble, however, is that opponents of the disgraced top manager are not in a position to shed light on the situation surrounding the Kliper project or to explain what is being done in this direction.

“By 2014, Russia may drop behind the United States, China and the European Union in manned flights unless it continues developing a new spacecraft. By 2014, the U.S. is planning to complete a new ship, the Orion, which will put up stiff competition against our Soyuz craft on the international market. We may seriously fall behind in technologies by that time,” a worried Sevastyanov said.

It was to address that problem that the corporation had developed, mainly with extra-budgetary funds, the well-known spacecraft Kliper, which has suited Roskosmos until now and been a visiting card of Russia’s rocket industry at many international air shows, including Russia’s MAKS-2005. Now, instead of an almost implemented program, which was, according to Sevastyanov, the reason behind his dismissal, modernization of the Soyuz spacecraft, of fifty years vintage, is being suggested for the hundredth time.

“I think we will finalize the ultimate shape of the manned craft in the near future and submit our proposals to Roskosmos. I think it will be this year,” the corporation’s newly elected president, Vitaly Lopota, said on July 31. That, however, is no longer news, because this is not the first time the words have been spoken. On the other hand, his remarks about the Kliper are remarkable.

“I can say that we will not put the Kliper on view (at MAKS-2007 – A.K.). In the next few months we will take a close look at this idea, which was once voiced by former corporation manager Yury Semyonov.”

Somehow, one gets the feeling that the program for a very modern craft design is being made to appear obsolete. But does it mean, then, that the half-century-old equipment (Soyuz) is really genuine innovation?

Energiya supervises the operation of the Russian segment of the International Space Station and coordinates this unique and technologically very promising international program. But it is not clear how Roskosmos is planning to run the station in the near future with only Soyuz and Progress vehicles.

It is no secret that the Americans may either call a total halt to their orbital activities or reduce them to one-off expeditions that do not require regular flights to the station. We will be lucky if our partners manage to honor their pledge to fly enough shuttles to complete the deployment of the ISS. After that the shuttles will retire to clear the decks and provide money for a new American dream – another mission to the Moon and a flight to Mars.

You can cavil at these plans and Sevastyanov’s remarks about mining minerals on the Moon for as long as you like. Your efforts will not materialize in a new craft nor convince anybody that Russia can effectively run the completed orbital complex.

Of course, one can take it easy and continue taking pride in the number of annual launches and link research plans with the number of tourists wishing to have a ride on the ISS. But then it is not clear whether the Russian space effort has any future prospects worth pursuing.

Thanks for reading La Russophobe !

Now This: Russia’s Space Program in Shambles

Dr. Smith! Will Robinson! Warning! Warning! Danger, danger! RIA Novosti reports:

Nikolai Sevastyanov, now a former president of the Energiya Space Rocket Corporation – the flagship company of Russia’s space industry – was forced to step down on the last day of July, despite the support of his top management.

Officially, the Russian Space Agency, or Roskosmos, has repeatedly said that Sevastyanov’s plans, especially those concerned with manned flights, did not fit into the 2006-2015 Federal Space Program. More than that, they said the former Energiya manager’s activities were not in line with the goals facing Russia’s ambitions in space. The reference was to a new reusable space transport system and a deep space research program, or missions to the Moon and Mars.

The trouble, however, is that opponents of the disgraced top manager are not in a position to shed light on the situation surrounding the Kliper project or to explain what is being done in this direction.

“By 2014, Russia may drop behind the United States, China and the European Union in manned flights unless it continues developing a new spacecraft. By 2014, the U.S. is planning to complete a new ship, the Orion, which will put up stiff competition against our Soyuz craft on the international market. We may seriously fall behind in technologies by that time,” a worried Sevastyanov said.

It was to address that problem that the corporation had developed, mainly with extra-budgetary funds, the well-known spacecraft Kliper, which has suited Roskosmos until now and been a visiting card of Russia’s rocket industry at many international air shows, including Russia’s MAKS-2005. Now, instead of an almost implemented program, which was, according to Sevastyanov, the reason behind his dismissal, modernization of the Soyuz spacecraft, of fifty years vintage, is being suggested for the hundredth time.

“I think we will finalize the ultimate shape of the manned craft in the near future and submit our proposals to Roskosmos. I think it will be this year,” the corporation’s newly elected president, Vitaly Lopota, said on July 31. That, however, is no longer news, because this is not the first time the words have been spoken. On the other hand, his remarks about the Kliper are remarkable.

“I can say that we will not put the Kliper on view (at MAKS-2007 – A.K.). In the next few months we will take a close look at this idea, which was once voiced by former corporation manager Yury Semyonov.”

Somehow, one gets the feeling that the program for a very modern craft design is being made to appear obsolete. But does it mean, then, that the half-century-old equipment (Soyuz) is really genuine innovation?

Energiya supervises the operation of the Russian segment of the International Space Station and coordinates this unique and technologically very promising international program. But it is not clear how Roskosmos is planning to run the station in the near future with only Soyuz and Progress vehicles.

It is no secret that the Americans may either call a total halt to their orbital activities or reduce them to one-off expeditions that do not require regular flights to the station. We will be lucky if our partners manage to honor their pledge to fly enough shuttles to complete the deployment of the ISS. After that the shuttles will retire to clear the decks and provide money for a new American dream – another mission to the Moon and a flight to Mars.

You can cavil at these plans and Sevastyanov’s remarks about mining minerals on the Moon for as long as you like. Your efforts will not materialize in a new craft nor convince anybody that Russia can effectively run the completed orbital complex.

Of course, one can take it easy and continue taking pride in the number of annual launches and link research plans with the number of tourists wishing to have a ride on the ISS. But then it is not clear whether the Russian space effort has any future prospects worth pursuing.

Thanks for reading La Russophobe !