EDITORIAL: Russian Technology Unbound


Russian Technology Unbound

Imagine an eagle soaring proudly around the earth in orbit at supersonic speed.  Suddenly, the evil Hubble Space Telescope comes into view.  The eagle’s eyes glisten with sparks of bravery, it turns its back on the devilish American craft and a powerful red-white-and-blue laser beam shoots out of the eagle’s buttocks, blinding the telescope and rendering the demonic Americans helpless.  Their own national symbol has laid them low!

Who in the world could be capable of putting forth such amazing technology to advance the fight against the evil empire that is the USA?  Only Vladimir Putin’s Russia, that’s who!

Believe it or not, the only element of this story that Russians would see as fantasy is the eagle part.  It would not be an eagle, they’d say, but a falcon, a “sokol” in Russian, a “Sokol-Eshelon” to be precise.  That’s another name for a Beriev A-60  transport plane fitted with a “laser canon” that will supposedly soar above the earth and blind American satellites — starting, if the plane’s emblem (shown above left) is to be believed, with the Hubble.

We can’t decide which is a more horrifying fact about Russia — that the Russians actually believe they can wield a weapon of this kind, or that they would want to. Most people who do not know the Russians would find it hard to believe that they would want to shoot down the Hubble Space Telescope, which has opened wonders to mankind never before dreamed of.  That is no different than the difficulty many would have had in believing that Russian could elect a proud KGB spy to rule them after watching the KGB rampage through and destroy the USSR.

But Russians are more than capable of such vile acts, and of bragging about them.  If Russia can’t build a Hubble, or land on the moon, then nobody should do it, and Russians want to destroy anyone who would try.  They want to believe that the Hubble must be some sort of evil scheme designed solely to destroy Russia, so that they can justify attacking it with bloodthirsty vengeance.

42 responses to “EDITORIAL: Russian Technology Unbound

  1. Or maybe it’s the fact that American spy satellites look almost identical to Hubble. http://www.thespacereview.com/archive/1809aa.jpg

    But that’s not the sort of fact-checking one shouldn’t expect from pretend journalists, ey.

    • Actually, you didn’t check your own facts. Only one of the objects in your link looks like the item in the Russian emblem, and the point of the editorial was that the Russians had chosen that image.

      What’s more, you didn’t check our facts, because you didn’t read our link. It is the source of our statement, so you can take up your issue with our soure but you can’t suggest we are somehow rogue.

      And you didn’t read our editorial, because you choose to totally ignore all the other outrageous aspects which you can’t begin to challenge, starting with a laser beam shooting out of a falcon’s butt.

      Physician, heal thyself!

      • What is it you think you’ve linked to, besides a picture of a plane?

        • We think we’ve linked to this:


          and this


          and this


          Now start firing off those letters to the editor and condemn all these outrageously unprofessional, un-fact checking journalists.

          BUT FIRST: Please tell us why your own fact checking didn’t produce these results.

          • Curious, the link in the editorial does not show up as a hyperlink (it’s simply black text, underlined) — so I missed it. You should probably get that fixed.

            The original article (the one from the Space Review, the other two use it as source) in fact mentions that “it is obvious that this is actually meant to symbolize an American spy satellite.” Of course, it doesn’t just symbolise, it actually -is- the likeness of a spy satellite. It is mildly amusing that someone writing for something called “The Space Review” doesn’t know what American spy satellites look like. But then, he didn’t even -insinuate- that the designer of the emblem and/or the engineers had the actual Hubble in mind.

            No, that’s what -you- made of it, and then went off on a rant about how outrageous it is that “they would want to shoot down the Hubble Space Telescope, which has opened wonders to mankind never before dreamed of.” Of course, they want no such thing, and now that you know this, you should probably start penning a retraction.

            I’m not entirely sure which fact it is you think I hadn’t checked. While the diagram I posted contains more than one spy satellite, I figured you possessed the mental faculties and pattern recognition capacity (slightly above the levels exhibited by potted geraniums) necessary to parse the diagram and match the rightmost satellite to the one depicted on the emblem. I am dreadfully sorry if this was an overestimation of your capabilities; I shall refrain from doing so in the future.

            Finally, I find it rather curious that you seem to believe that professional journalistic standards should apply to me, when I never proclaimed to be such. That I appear to be more capable at it than you is hardly a good reason.

            • Here’s the fact you didn’t check:

              (1) You didn’t search the net in regard to this story, i.e., you didn’t check your facts in any way.

              (2) You claimed we didn’t check our facts, when in fact we were reporting facts reported by others.

              (3) You claimed it was an error to suggest that the Russian insignia was indicating shooting down the Hubble. This isn’t an error, it’s just your opinion differs from ours.

              Oh yeah and, instead of setting a good example and apologizing for your numerous errors, you instead tried to obfuscate. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

              • Not even your source claimed that the Russians wanted to shoot down the Hubble. He claimed that the Hubble on the emblem symbolised spy satellites. This does not make sense, until you realise that the Hubble looks like a number of actual spy satellites. A spy satellite as a symbol for spy satellites? This does make sense. Everything else is just you weaseling.

                Keep diggin’ though.

                • Spy sattelite:

                  The Hubble telescope:

                  I’d say the rather stupid emblem is very much closer to the depiction of a generic spy satellite rather than of the Hubble telescope, but I guess the similarity is in the eye of the beholder.

                  • How about the bird shooting a laser out of its butt, is that also in the eye of the beholder?

                    And why does Russia want to display emblems of war against America? Aren’t we friends any more?

                    • Tsk, tsk. Frenemies, at best.

                    • Admittedly, an emblem containing a bird shooting a laser out of its butt is not the paragon of taste. I would not go as far as saying that its a symbol of war against America. Its rather a symbol of Russia’s ability — whether existing or sought, I don’t know — to neutralize satellites that spy against Russia. If the US does not have any, it does not have to worry about anything.

                    • larussophobe

                      Oh, now it’s not just not the Hubble but also not even American? Whose is it then, China’s?

                  • Given that in your own Google search, the most relevant images (1st couple of pages) show spy satellites to be box like, while the Hubble telescope and the image on the Russian emblem are both tubular, methinks you are even more idiotic than usual AT

                    • Maybe its a satellite from a picture that says “SPY SATELLITE”?

                    • No AT, the image in the Russian emblem is far too long to be mistaken for that satellite.

                      I mean you really could try harder.

                      It does however look a lot like this picture, of the Hubble telescope

                      Not AT, we all know you are an apologist for Putin and co, but seriously, if you think it is so wonderful in Russia, please go home.

                    • Ok, Andrew, I think you have managed to uncover and substantiate Russia’s malicious plot to destroy the Hubble telescope. I accept that this conclusion is much more substantiated than any of your claims that Georgia is not a failure.

                      Again, Andrew, you think you know things, but you have no idea. I am an apologist of no regime. I think, however, I can judge quite well about a number of regime’s positives and negatives. Well, and about me thinking that “it is so wonderful in Russia”, it is definitely more “wonderful” there than, say, in Georgia, Ukraine, Turkey, Romania, Bulgaria, Brazil, India and most places in China — and than in three more dozens of countries or so I’ve been to so far. It is less “wonderful” there than in the States, in most places in Europe, Canada or Australia. And my home is in the States now, and its quite wonderful here, maybe less wonderful than in Rome or Paris, but wonderful enough. So I am at home, that is until the time when I decide to make another place home.

                    • Yes AT, tell yourself that if you like, but you certainly are an apologist for Putin.

                      I mean when you claim that there is little to no corruption in Russia under Putin, and that even if there is it is not a bad thing, well you are being either disingenuous or retarded, as well as being an apologist for Putin.

                      In addition you are definitely a racist towards non Slavs in the former USSR.

                    • Liar. Care to provide one single quote from any of my previous posts to confirm this? In any of my posts regarding corruption, I said that corruption is a serious problem for Russia, which will take time to resolve.

                    • Now, now Absolute Trash, calling someone a liar is very bad. Especially since you are the “daddy liar” of all time.

                      Like Pinocchio, whose nose grew every time he told a lie – yours must be a good meter long. So be careful, any longer and you will trip over it and who knows you may even break your neck because of it.

                    • Bogdan, claiming something without proof is a lie, especially if you claim something about other people’s documented statements. Dooo-ren’.

  2. (AGI) St Petersburg- Russia and France have concluded a historic 1,12 billion euro deal for the supply of two Mistral class ships. Both the French and Russian presidents Nicolas Sarkozy and Dmitri Medvedev have announced the sale of the two helicopter carriers during the G8 summit in Deauville. The deal marks the first time a NATO country transfers its military technology to the former Soviet Union and has been concluded after around 2 years of negotiations.


  3. The French made a great financial deal in selling that junk called Mistral to stupid retarded russians. Truly, the maritime powers like UK and, especially USA, have been making fun of the dinosaur called mistral for years. Good business move for France and another humiliation for Russia – by the way who will be operating that ‘sohpisticated’ ship? The simple russian crew? GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

    • Кто о чем, а вшивый пшек о бане…

      • boottrap, is it in serbo-croatian slang; lease translate..

        • Manfred Steifschwanz

          Ich werde dir helfen, liebes gehirntodes und schmutziges Arschloch. Grobt gesagt: Die Bedeutung — wenigstens der Sinn — der ersten drei Wörter (Кто о чем) ist “Jeder nach seinem Geschmack” und das letzte Teil (а вшивый пшек о бане) erzählt daB ein dreckiges Pschek von der Bad träumt.

          Doch habe ich das bestimmte Gefühl, daB es in deinem Fall gar nicht stimmt.

      • bootstrap, dorogoye obosranye, pianye, golodnye ruskie barakhlo, privet from prosperous Poland. Poland has a field trip watching ‘velykuyu ruskuyu armiu EATS DOG FOOD..We thought that russia cannot stoop that lower but we were tragically mistaken..

        • Best regards from Germany, “prosperous” pshek. Once again:
          Кто о чем, а вшивый пшек о бане…

          • bootstrap, what are you doing in Germany, spying and on the social assistant. May I suggest that you open export import company; just buy the dog food in Germany and sell it to the starving ‘heroic’ russian army. Pure profit. Do you understand the russkiye barakhlo????

            • Manfred Steifschwanz

              Ich meine bestimmt daB mccusa aus Arschau im Tiergarten für alle Zeiten eingesperrt werden sollte. Die Freiheit mit verschiedenen ekelhaftigen Fressen in vollem Glück zu experimentieren.können dürfte für ihn der Sinn des Lebens sein.

              • Hey russian baboon off the medication AGAIN??? You truly need electric shocks on a daily basis. By the way, shouldn’t we start advertising the magnificent transportation tools especially prepared for the sochi olympics; the flying coffins called Tupolevs. Up till now the russian barbarians were using the junk called russian planes to kill oppositions abroad e.g., Polish President and entourage, and opposition in russia proper – the latest crash on Finnish territory killed the all upper management of russian’s nuclear industry. LISTEN CAREFULLY; THE POTENTIAL VISITORS TO SOCHI OLYMPICS – YOU WILL BE TAKEN AND PUT IN THE FLYING COFFINS CALLED TUPOLEV PLANES AND YOUR CHANCE OF CRASHING WILL BE 50% – WELCOME TO MENTAL WARD CALLED RUSSIA…..

                • mccusa,

                  It’s a well known fact of life in Ukraine that you never fly in a Tupolev “coffin.” Unless you are tired of this life and want to enter the next realm in the not too distant future.

                  So much for their wonderful neo soviet aircraft, but then don’t tell those Russophiles of these facts – after all we want them to fly in their beloved “Aeroflop” airline (and you must realize that they do literally and regularly flop/fall out of the skies).

                  • Tu-134 and Tu-154 are very much Soviet, not “ne0”-Soviet planes produced since the 1960s. And last time I checked, Aeroflot did not have any of those in its fleet. You are a very confused man, Bogdan…

                    • Aaah comrade Absolute Trash, you are funny.

                      Go on tell us once more how good the “Tu” range of commercial passenger carrying aircraft are, and what a good, safe and unblemished name Aeroflop has. I cannot wait for your reply. I bet it will be hilarious, just like you are.

                    • Well, I just said that Aeroflot did not have any Tu’s. Do you disagree with this fact? Also, out of 852 Tu-134 aircraft, some 69 Tu-134 have been destroyed in accidents and wars, of which 35 were non-fatal incidents (in one of the remaining 34 fatal incidents no one on the plane died). Out of 1,025 Tu-154 aircraft, there have been 110 serious incidents involving the Tu-154, and 69 hull losses in total, 39 of which involved fatalities. As for Aeroflot, there are records of approximately 127 accidents involving Aeroflot aircraft and 6,875 fatalities since 1953. Do you see any out of the ordinary in these statistics? You can find them pretty much everywhere on the web if you can google.

                    • The Tu-134 is still in widespread use in Russia, though not with Aeroflot.

                      Some of the current operators (as of 2011)
                      Air Volga
                      Moscovia Airlines
                      Orenburg Airlines
                      Perm Airlines
                      Samara Airlines
                      Tatarstan Airlines
                      UTair Aviation
                      Yamal Airlines

                      They are certainly a deathtrap however, having flown on them (with Aeroflot) on several occasions as recently as 2004

                      However, the point is that most post soviet designs are deathtraps too, be they the latest Lada 4wd or the latest Sukhoi fighter.

                      The Indian army is less than pleased with the T-90’s they received, stating they are likely to fireball with any penetrating hit.

  4. bootstrap, what are you doing in Germany, ‘prosperous’ barakhlo – stealing, spying, begging on the streets or just infesting the european atmosphere??? No wonder Austrians and Germans refuse to stay in the hotels were the dirty, drunk, smelly russians stay. What about a single ticket to the famous russian ‘kurorts’ e.g., magadan, birobidjan, kolyma, and better still lubianka ….familiar places you ‘euroasian trash’ so much love…….

  5. the poor little dog mccusa is funny, isn’t it? Ziemlich laecherlich. Gulags, russian barakhlo, mongols, contaminated samogon, holes in Siberia, etc. All pshek’s posts are quite predictable. Hallochen, little dog from Arschau, wanna clean my house in Germany?

    • Don’t do it mccusa.

      Cleaning a real pigsty rather then jockstrap’s ‘kwartira – cum hole in the ground’ will be a real pleasure – and much cleaner too. I bet he sh*ts, eats and sleeps in the same hole.

      • Manfred Steifschwanz

        Liebster Boredan,

        Sicherlich erinnerst du dich an die Einladung, die ich an dir und am Schwein aus Arschau früher gerichtet habe. Ihr seid in meinem Studio in Stockholm herzlichst willkommen für einen Re-Mix des Lieds “El Condor Pasa” von Paul Simon

        “Manfred und seine zwei blöde Affen” = RIESIGES ERFOLG!!!

    I think the Hubble at the request of the Americans, will be destroyed by Russian, in the Russian space program to combat space garbage. Russia plans to launch a new telescope, which is much more powerful than Hubble.

  7. Carl W. Johansen

    The “Hubble” is clearly a representation of a typical optical surveillance satellite, such as the Keyhole 11 series of US spy satellites. Hubble bears a striking resemblance to typical optical spy satellites – not surprising considering it’s all about high performance optics in orbit. Hubble itself also represents an iconic a space-based optical system, so the logo design choice is not strange at all. You’re reading way too much into it.

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