Schwarzenegger and Chapman Party on in Moscow
Party on Arnold! Party on Anna! Excellent!
Russia achieved an impressive new low last week in national humiliation. We can hardly keep the tears of laughter out of our eyes long enough to publish today’s issue.
First, The Governator Arnold Schwarzenegger arrived in Moscow and declared: “President Medvedev is a great visionary. He had this vision to create a Silicon Valley in Skolkovo. I love places where there is an extraordinary potential. It’s almost like looking at a gold or diamond mine and saying, ‘All you got to do is go in there and get it.'”
Simultaneously the New York Times was writing of the Governator’s home state of California: “California can’t afford new water projects, but state cops often receive 90 percent of their salaries when they retire at 50. The average corrections officer there makes $70,000 a year in base salary and $100,000 with overtime (California spends more on its prison system than on its schools).” But by Russian standards, of course, California is a majestic success and the Governator is a leading economic genius!
Then, as if to show Russia has never sunk as low as it can get, it was announced that the ludicrously failed Russian spy Anna Chapman had been appointed an advisor to a leading Russian financial institution.
These events are, on the one hand, so hilarious and bizarre that they seem like fanciful, deluded fiction. Yet, on the other hand, they perfectly explain why Russia remains a backwater, with a life expectancy not in the top 125 nations of the world and an average wage rivaled by many third-world states.
The Governator might be the failed leader of a nearly bankrupt state, but in Russia he looks like a genius. Russians might mock and castigate Americans for having such a leader, right up until the time he starts complimenting them and then he becomes a beloved celebrity.
And as for who is a bigger and more spectacular failure, Chapman or Schwarzenegger, the jury is still out on that one. Chapman may very well be the worst spy ever to don dark glasses and a mustache, yet now she’s being sought out by a Russian “bank” to offer it financial advice, something she’s even less qualified to do than spying.
All if it can only remind us, of course, of Vladimir Putin himself, a man totally unqualified to hold any kind of elected or executive office and whose policies are driving Russia to absolute disaster, yet who is lionized as a hero by the sheep over whom he rules.
What a country!