EDITORIAL: Russia Jumps the Rails

EDITORIAL

Russia Jumps the Rails

Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, space cadet, makes his move

Kirsan Ilyumzhinov is the ruler of the Russian region of Kalmykia, next to Rostov, just south of Volgograd. He’s also chief of the FIDE, the international chess federation, thrust into that position by Russian lobbying.

Andrei Lebedev is a member of the Russian parliament, affiliated with Vladimir Zhironovsky’s “Liberal Democratic” party.  Hearing Zhirik’s name, you may suspect that this story is going to get weird and scary, but quick.  If so, you’re right in spades.

Last week, Lebedev called for an investigation of Ilyumzhinov.  The reason?  Lebedev believes that Ilyumzhinov may have passed important state secrets to Russia’s enemies.  On another planet.

You read that right.  Some time ago, Ilyumzhinov announced that in 1997 he had been abducted and interrogated by space aliens in a “semi-transparent half tube.”   Ilyumzhinov stated:  “I was reading my book, watching television and had almost fallen asleep. Then I felt that someone was calling. I would not have believed it, if I had not had three witnesses.  I am often asked which language I used to talk to them. Perhaps it was on a level of the exchange of ideas.”

Given that these are events of long standing in Russia, you may well wonder why Lebedev is so interested in them.  It appears his concern stems not from the fate of Russia or of the people of Kalmykia, an issue as to which he was until very recently absolutely oblivious. But it seems that Lebedev is a big fan of Anatoly Karpov, who is vying with Ilyumzhinov in an upcoming election to the FIDE post.

This horrifying little story is Russia in a nutshell.  In essence, the only hope to redress corruption in one of the most corrupt societies on the planet is with corruption, one corrupt person destroying another for corrupt reasons.  But corruption does not lessen at all, only the names and faces change.  The next ruler of Kalmykia, to say nothing of the next “president” of Russia, may believe he speaks not to little green men but to God Almighty.

In short, the lunatic who governs Kalmykia is no worse than those who prowl the Kremlin, it is simply that he is unmasked. And he is unmasked not because of any good faith effort to clean the effluent that has inundated Russian politics, but simply because he is at war with other, equally corrupt forces.  Russians as blithely hand power to a man who speaks to little green aliens as they do to a man who takes pride in his past as a KGB spy. No mechanisms exist to even publicly criticize, must less discipline or remove, such monsters.

And so it goes in Vladimir Putin’s Russia.

8 responses to “EDITORIAL: Russia Jumps the Rails

  1. imho bribery must be made official in Russia, state officials must not be paid any salaries but must instead be allowed to ask for and take bribes and at the same time Russian citizens, who are in fact very libertarian and individualistic at heart, must be given the right to bear arms, then I think Russia will sort itself out in less than a decade.

  2. Francis Smyth-Beresford

    Yes, how ’bout them crazy leaders, eh? Ilyumzhinov is obviously missing
    a fairly serious chunk of his attic insulation. However, lest you form
    the opinion that only vowel-heavy pillocks in charge of minor Russian
    provinces are susceptible to holding direct conversations with
    other-worldly beings, consider;

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/10/13/AR200510
    1301688.html

    http://politicalwire.com/archives/2004/07/16/quote_of_the_day.html

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2005/10_october/0
    6/bush.shtml

    “The next ruler of Kalmykia, to say nothing of the next “president” of
    Russia, may believe he speaks not to little green men but to God
    Almighty.” You said it, Baby – testify.

    “Russians as blithely hand power to a man who speaks to little green
    aliens as they do to a man who takes pride in his past as a KGB spy”

    I’m not sure how all Russians are responsible for electing the leader of
    a small Russian province, any more than all Americans were responsible
    for the election of a nutbar of legendary proportions who believed he
    spoke directly to God. However, if that’s the line you want to take, I
    feel obligated to point out Ilyumzhinov rules over about 300,000 people
    while Bush ruled over about 300,000,000. Twice.

    • So you’re saying you think praying to God is the same thing as being abducted by space aliens?

      Roughly two-thirds of this planet takes a different view, moron.

      • No, Bush was quite ok, for his post, I mean.

        After all, everybody can talk to God, but God answers to the chosen mostly.

        • So you’re saying that believing God answers prayers is the same as believing you’ve been abducted by space aliens?

          You did read the part about President Medvedev ENDORSING this maniac for ANOTHER term as FIDE leader, right?

          • Well, it’s not exactly the same, to believe God answers prayers and know that God advises you on the decisions you should take.

            And it’s not the same to be FIDE leader, or even Kalmyk president, and lead the world’s only nuclear superpower.

  3. This fella was about to go to sleep or something like that and then…..martians or something! A very typical scenario for meeting up with E.Ts, it would seem. LOL!

  4. “I’m not sure how all Russians are responsible for electing the leader of
    a small Russian province”

    Francis, Kirsan Ilumzhinov wasn’t elected for his last term, he was appointed by Moscow in 2005.
    Majority of Kalmyks don’t want Kirsan to rule our Republic any longer. But since we can’t elected our Presidents anymore, we just have to wait and see who will the Gremlin-Kremlin send to us in October, i.e. who will pay Putin more $$$ to rule Kalmykia.

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