Russia picks a Fight with Canada
Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they’ll just say “sorry”
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It’s gotta mean they’re all up to somethin’
So quick, before they see it comin’
Time for a pre-emptive strike!
“Weird” Al Yancovic
“Straight Outta Linwood”
Faced with unimaginable athletic humiliation on the fields of play at the Vancouver Olympiad, Russians rapidly degenerated into even more humiliatingly childish name-calling directed at the host country, leaving the Russia’s Olympic legacy in utter ruin. When you can’t think of anything to do but insult the sweet little Canadians, you may as well just give up.
As the second week of the Vancouver Olympiad wound down, the Canadian press was consumed with a February 19 op-ed in Pravda which offered nuggets of Russian wisdom such as “Vancouver is not fit to hold the Winter Olympics” and referring to “the abject cruelty shown by Canadian soldiers in international conflicts” and calling the Canadians “retentive” and “cowardly.” Then this: “Canada lives in the shadow of its larger neighbour to the south.” Then he accused Canada of having an “inferiority complex, born of a trauma being the skinny and weakling bro to a beefy United States and a colonial outpost to the United Kingdom, whose Queen smiles happily from Canadian postage stamps.”
To speak about any Olympic host this way, much less a docile, self-effacing place like Canada, is the act of a true barbarian, and Russia has humiliated itself before the world by doing so. It richly deserves to have this outrageous abuse hurled back upon it if the Sochi games actually go forward, and we know that if it happens Russia will play the innocent victim in a way that will be even more vulgar and appalling than its crude insults to Canada.