EDITORIAL: Russia plumbs Hilarious new Depths of Stupidity


Russia plumbs Hilarious new Depths of Stupidity

One thing you have to admit about Russia is that no matter what ridiculous, humiliating gibberish it might spew forth today, it can always outdo itself tomorrow.

Jaundiced though we may be by spending so many years observing Russian self-destruction, we admit to being surprised upon learning that as a central part of its new government initiative to pursue innovation in business Russia was calling in . . . Ashton Kutcher.

The notion of Russia calling in this ridiculous airhead to advise them on how to innovate speaks volumes about how utterly confused Russia really is. One minute Russians are screeching to high heaven about the incompetence of American advice, blaming America for Russia’s economic downturn, and the next they are going hat in hand to Ashton Kutcher. It’s Russia in a nutshell.  And we do mean nut.

Joining Kutcher were bigwigs from Cisco Systems, Twitter and eBay, as if computers and Internet were the highest priority for innovation in Russia and as if Russia might genuinely be interested in making Western-style Internet openness a central feature of Russian computer use. These two suggestions were even more hilarious than Kutcher’s antics.

But the biggest belly-laughs of all came from taking a look at the leader of the Russian side, one Vladislav Surkov, the Joseph Goebbels of neo-Soviet Russia, who boldly declared to the Vedemosti newspaper that “consolidated power is the instrument of modernization.”  As Streetwise Professor states:  “Consolidated power is decidedly not the instrument of modernization, when ‘consolidated’ means power that is not subject to constraint by the rule of law.”  The notion that Russia can “innovate” while simultaneously rushing to become a neo-Soviet dictatorship is truly unspeakably absurd.

As the Moscow Times reports, so-called “president” Dima Medvedev disbanded the Federal Agency for Special Economic Zones in October, just three years after its creation.  Now, Medvedev is talking about building a “Russian Silicon Valley,” a so-called “city of the future.”  Surkov made open references to operating the city the same as Soviet predecessors were run.

It really does seem that Russia has gone quite mad.  Utterly detached from reality just as in Soviet times, because there is no criticism from independent media or opposition political parties, the Kremlin is behaving just like the Soviet government always did, with equally hilarious and hopeless results.

12 responses to “EDITORIAL: Russia plumbs Hilarious new Depths of Stupidity

  1. I actually thought I read it wrong, but no. It really is Demi’s Ashton Kutcher!

    Strange days indeed.

  2. Wow, is Ashton going to ”punk” Putin?

    He’d only have to drive him an hour out of Moscow…

  3. To the authors of this blog:


    –Hermann Hesse

  4. To the authors of this blog:

    “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.”

    –Hermann Hesse

  5. I hate God. I guess we know what that means. Offerings may be made in the form of wine, women and cheeseburgers.

    So if someone goes around raping old ladies and little kids while feeding off the severed limbs of people he tasers in subway bathrooms, the only people who would hate him would be people who are just a bit like that? I think Hesse was having a bad day when he wrote that.

    • Yes, the quote attributed to him is actually not applicable in many cases. But it is to the author of this blog.

      Most people hate a person or a group of people for their actions, and not for who they are in essence. For example, I hate many Americans because they constantly wage war on helpless, defenseless, human beings. I also hate many Jews because they are cheap, lousy, back-stabbing kikes. And they also kill and oppress Palestinians.

      However, the author of this blog is so obsessed with Russia and Russians to the point of pathology, that it has become a hatred caused by an internal repression arising from unresolved grievances.

      Perhaps he or she had a very difficult experience with Russians and has now converted this fiasco into an obsession?

      • The logical corollary of your hatred for American and Jews (given your stated rationalization: mass-murder) is that you must also hate Stalin, who murdered more people in general and more Russians in particular than all Jews and Americans combined. If not, please explain why. Also, given your simultaneous hatred of Jews and mass-murder, please briefly summarize your perspective on Hitler, so as to illustrate which of these mutually exclusive priorities trumps the other. Thank you.

      • Wow BrickHouse? your use of the word “pathology” in your reply comment shows a big lack in understanding the English language as it is totally inexcusable and inappropriate. What it really means is – the medical “science of diseases!” and what has that got to do with this Blog?

        Now at the risk of trying to teach you proper English, the word without a doubt should have been ‘pathological’, which means “of or caused by physical or mental disorder” like as in ‘pathological fear of snakes’.

        Also I find it very interesting that you quote Hermann Hesse, a poet, novelist and writer who underwent several years of psychotherapy and some of whose novels – following his death in 1962, – saw a revival in popularity due to their association with some of the popular themes of the 1960’s counterculture (or hippie) movement and in the mid to late sixties – became a spiritual magnet to the generation of American beat poets.

        Hence, what I’m trying to get across is that the way that you are trying to get your points through indicates a very confused mind, yes I see a very confused person who does not know whether he is Arthur or Planqua, oops I mean Martha.

        Also it is bigoted that you attack the Americans and the Israelis for the people they have killed, but sadly are totally silent about the huge number of murders that occur in Putler’s ruSSia or the 10s of millions of people that Stalin’s uSSr starved, murdered and also worked to death in the Siberian ‘paradise’.

        Thankfully Rex Rufus has raised a lot of questions that I too was going to ask you and thus saved me the job of doing so, consequently I would dearly love to read your reply to his questions, as I believe that they are very pertinent and to the heart of the matter.

        Over to you.

  6. Actually, Ashton Kutcher wasn’t “called in” by Russia, but rather got roped into a White House initiative to promote tech and business ties (insert here whatever we may think of that).

    Having the biggest user of Twitter, even if he is a goofy celeb, bring up subjects such as “transparency in Russia” and meet with “civil society leaders” (which were probably Kremlin approved) is still a good thing.

  7. BrickHouse: You are an idiot.

  8. Russian Security Forces Accused of Using Slave Labor

    A Russian magazine is being sued by an elite police subdivision in response to an article accusing them of forcing migrant workers to work without pay, reports Ekho Moskvy radio.

    The article, which was published on Monday by the New Times magazine, is based on allegations made by former police officer Larisa Krepkova, who left the elite Zubr subdivision of the Russian Internal Ministry’s OMON security forces a year and a half ago due to illness. According to Krepkova, officers from the unit would travel to Moscow’s Yaroslavskoye Highway to recruit migrant workers, who were then brought to the Zubr base in the nearby region of Shchelkovo. There, they were forced to dig ditches, set up fences, and clean toilets without pay, even though Official invoices included tallies of the cost of labor.

    Krepkova said that the workers, who she labeled as “slaves,” even wound up working in the dacha of Deputy Interior Minister Colonel General Mikhail Sukhodolsky. In addition to not being paid the workers were beaten and poorly treated in general. After Internal Minister Rashid Nurgaliyev undertook a survey of the base, the workers were assigned more specific tasks, she said.

    The former officer explained that funding for labor was previously determined by the Zubr officers themselves, and that today the funds are specifically allocated by the Internal Ministry. As such, she was unaware if Zubr was continuing such practices today.

    The New Times article adds that the Zubr OMON subdivision is under the direct jurisdiction of Internal Minister Nurgaliyev, and is commonly known as “the minister’s personal security.”

    A spokesperson from the Internal Ministry said on Monday that they plan to sue the magazine for libel.

    Monday’s article is the second in less than a month by the New Times to address problems with the OMON, which are notorious for their brutal suppression of activist rallies and other protests. On February 1, the magazine published an open letter from a number of former Moscow OMON to Russian President Dmitri Medvedev, describing poor working conditions, mistreatment by their superiors, orders to break up opposition rallies, and rampant corruption.

    The next day, members of the Moscow city OMON announced their decision to sue the New Times for libel. City Police Chief Vladimir Kolokoltsev later stated that an internal investigation found the charges to be false. Additionally, the agency sent invitations to a number of journalists and rights activists to join the OMON for Russia’s traditional Maslenitsa festival celebrations. The OMON said that the event was a chance to show that the agency had nothing to hide, but the online newspaper Gazeta.ru described the proceedings as obviously staged.

    The New Times noted that in response to the February 1 article, it has received a record number of letters from police officers with similar experiences. Its editors said on Monday that while they have yet to receive notification of any lawsuits regarding the articles, they are prepared to defend them in court.


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