Look, up in the Sky! It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! It’s Super Russia!
Of all the ridiculous, asinine “ideas” to emerge from the fetid wasteland that is neo-Soviet Russia (floating nuclear power stations, building islands in the Black Sea, colonizing Mars, walking on the Moon, etc.) surely the most side-splittingly ludicrous of them all is the Kremlin’s “plan” to “save the Earth” from a killer asteroid by blasting it with a Russian-made missile.
Now get this: If you type “bulava failure” into Google, you get over 100,000 hits as the world has gaped slack-jawed at Russia’s total in ability to launch a missle from a submarine, much less hit anything ten feet away. Yet the Kremlin thinks it can shoot a missile hundreds of thousands of miles into deep space and knock a tiny asteroid off course, saving our planet from devastation?
And it thinks itself capable of determining that the asteroid is going to hit the Earth, even though the Americans see the chances as no better than three in a million?
And meanwhile, it will divert millions of dollars, perhaps billions, towards this insane project and away from others like making Russia’s highways and homes, decimated by collisions and fires, more safe?
What kind of country could even conceive of such a notion as this, much less manage to speak about it publicly?
Well, Russia. That kind of country. An ostrich country, with its head shoved so deep and tight into the sands of ignorance and blindness that it has no idea, like the infamous Emperor with his “new clothes,” how utterly ridiculous it appears before the world.
But perhaps what’s most disturbing about this ridiculous sham is the raw contempt it reveals for the people of Russia. Does the Kremlin really believe it governs such mindless cattle as could be duped by a stunt so utterly insane?
And more disturbing still: Could the Kremlin be right?