Russia Through the Looking Glass
There are times when things happen in Russia that are so bizarrely inane that they defy the comprehension of normal human beings unschooled in the finer points of Russian “thought.” This is one of those instances.
The Moscow Times reports that a shadowy organization calling itself “Creative Warriors” has installed an ad campaign in the Moscow Metro which, as shown above, depicts cans of “Amerikanskoye Salo” emblazoned with the American flag. The MT describes “salo” as a ” traditional Ukrainian dish of salted pork fat” and explains that CW’s purpose is to unseat Ukrainian president Viktor Yushchenko by convincing the people of Ukraine that Yushchenko is a puppet of the U.S. and that “American salo is just as impossible as an American Ukraine.” The group stated: “We have been created for a new humanitarian mission and that we should spread throughout the entire world. If the campaign is allowed to be fully conducted on a national scale, Yushchenko simply has no chance to win.”
This idea is wrong on so many levels that it’s hard to know where to begin. Only in Russia can a failure be this pathetic, absolute and spectacular.
First and foremost, do you dare imagine dear reader how Russians would react if a traditional Russian food product (but what would that be, exactly? do Russians even have one?) were smeared in the Kiev metro by a Ukrainian who hated Vladimir Putin and wanted the Americans to depose him? Wouldn’t Russians be likely to be highly offended by such an attempt? How is it is possible they can dare to do that which they would not tolerate from others? Did it ever occur to the morons that Ukrainians might dislike Russian foreigners just as much as American foreigners, or even more since Russia has perpetrated a massive genocide against Ukraine followed by decades of brutal imperial domination? Apparently not.
Second, we don’t like to burst any bubbles of these Russian geniuses, but is the Moscow Metro really the best place to campaign against the President of Ukraine? Wouldn’t such materials be more effective if they were actually seen by Ukrainian voters? Of course, perhaps when the campaign refer sto a “national scale” it means that the actual purpose of the campaign is to convince Russians to invade Ukraine just as they invaded Georgia and make all the decisions about what happens in Ukraine themselves. But if that’s the case, aren’t they perhaps being just a bit too subtle? The MT states: “Political analyst Dmitry Oreshkin said the campaign was organized by a company connected to Russia’s ruling elite, which would like to “divide Ukraine into two parts” and win sympathy among the country’s pro-Russian eastern regions ahead of Ukraine’s 2010 presidential election.” If indeed this is an open call for Russian imperialism as the only way for the Kremlin to prevail, then it is too repugnant for words.
Third, the movement’s website also states: “Salo is an unofficial symbol of Ukraine all over the world.” Oh really? All over the world? We put it to you, dear reader, that outside of the former USSR nobody has the slightest idea what “salo” is, nor would they care in the least if they did. This is exactly the kind of crazy, emperor’s-new-clothes remark that used to emanate from the USSR, provoking scorn and ridicule “all over the world.” And now we are seeing it happen all over again, right before our eyes.
Ignorance and hypocrisy and aggression. These are the three deadly vices that brought the USSR to its knees and erased it from the face of the globe. How can Russians expect any other fate for their nation if they repeat them?
Thanks for giving me laughs this dreary winter morning! I am a born midwestern American, raised amongst every known eastern European ethnic group, including those calling themselves Ukrainians and various types of Russians,…and all others as Poles, Slovaks, etc., etc. So, I am quite familiar with….typical food dishes of most of them. Basically, most eat pretty much the same dishes, only with slightly different names and shapes. The poorer the people, the less meat they ate, in Europe. But this pathetic and laughable propaganda (FSB-?) attempt to create their ‘red-herring’ over ‘salo’ (which I always heard poor Russians ate, with bread …as what the half-starved over there, were/are happy to eat). This is a more ridiculous an accusation than: “The American CIA bought all those thousands of those, anti-Russian, orange-jackets for the ‘Orange Revolution’ ….as the Ukrainians themselves, were ‘too poor to buy them!” So, once again, thanks for the laughs , Mr Putin and gang. Keep it up! At least you guys are good for something! But beware, when we stop laughing!
lol..whats going to happen when you stop laughing Daniel? you’re gonna pop another Prozac and burn another joint? Thanks for the laughs mutt.
Dear “AKM” or whatever your KGB nickname is: “Mutt”…??? What do you claim is your bloodline, ‘pure-
Russian’…or what? Since a lot of the current depressed population of Putin’s Russia is on booze and drugs and are either prostitutes or gangster murderers, it would appear more likely that…you…need to get off your substance abuse, and help the good people of the world, overthrow and replace the FSB, and free the Russian people. Then, we can all laugh together, comrade. Thanks for more laughs today! AKM. Keep it up.
Reader Daniel -A Pure Breed American
No, AKM, I think the point was that after Ukrainians (or even Russians) stopped laughing they would do something against Putin and his minions… Shame does do such things.
Pork fat fills one up pretty well, and it was easy to get, and traveled well. In the US South, people of all colors would fry pork rinds or intestines, which are also pretty tasty if done right, and call them chitterlings or chitlins.
Noone’s going to believe the “American salo” stuff.
Interestingly enough, here’s an article from Ukrainian Pravda entitled “Ukraine is not Russia.” It’s in Ukrainian.
In the article, the author notes how the recent demonstrations against automobile tariff hikes in Vladivostok were met with Omon riot police.
61 people were detained, and 6 were jailed. Television crews were also detained, and a video camera of a cameraman for Japan’s NHK, Mykola Unahayev, was destroyed.
In contrast, he notes that United Russia organized loud demonstrations on January 31. The slogan?
“If you support the auto industry – you will support Putin”
He then notes that last week (the article is dated Feb 9, 2009), there were demonstrations against certain automobile tariff increases in Ukraine.
In stark contrast to Russia, noone was arrested, the police were interested only in maintaining traffic flow.
And – the government has responded! There are at least 10 proposed laws in Parliament which lower these auto tariffs.
He notes that it’s not quite perfect, but there is a mutual relationship between the citizens and government.
And the government understands that in a free election situation, the voters vote – and without the support of the voters, the politicians won’t get elected.
The comments reflect an impatience for even more improvement in government – for a strong democracy.
Unlike in Russia, where demonstrations are dealt with harshly, according to the article.
The comments also reflect a huge disappointment in Yushchenko, the current president. The disappointment is because he failed to carry out the mandate of the Orange Revolution (Yushchenko got 52% of the vote, when the people demanded – and got – a free and fair election).
It’s no secret that President Yushchenko’s “ratings” are abysmally low – at about 3%. He stands virtually no chance of being re-elected.
So the idiots in roosha are wasting their time, as it turns out.
The KGB of old and whatever dumb cement brained sovoks shills that they’ve morphed into never had to deal with the internet. They aren’t up to the task.
AKM will learn in time that whether you are an FSB paid hack or some western dumb kid that thinks Communism needs defended because Professor Stupid, a Che wannabe since he was teased on the playgound tells you so, defending Putin is futile. The facts will screw you up every time and smarmy oneliners count for nothing.
So, AKM, what’s your lame point?
“How is it is possible they can dare to do that which they would not tolerate from others?”
Your comment policy allows you to do just that.
LA RUSSOPHOBE RESPONDS:
We’d respond to you if we had any idea what you are talking about. We’re not even sure you are talking us, much less whose language you are quoting. A word to the wise: Drinking and posting don’t go well together.
Your comment policy allows you to do that which you would not tolerate from others, i.e. verbal abuse.
ED is going to have a field day with this site, just wait and see.
LA RUSSOPHOBE RESPONDS:
You’re simply lying. Our comment policy specifically allows personal abuse to be directed at us by commenters and warns we may direct it right back. It simply prohibits one commenter from personally attacking another. Moreover, even if that were not the case, your suggestion that we are not free to do just as we like on our own blog is ridiculous and insane.
You are an illiterate ape. And who the hell is “ED” and why should we we possibly care?
This campaign is a pretty solid example of the “Salo” theory of Ukrainian statehood espoused by Russian Nationalists. Zhirinovsky’s thesis pretty much goes as follows:
1) Russians and Ukrainians are basically the same.
2) The major difference is that Ukrainians eat salo because they’re a bunch of illiterate peasants.
3) Eating salo makes you stupid (literally, the guy writes “Salo tupeet chelovek.)
4) Therefore Ukrainians are mentally incapable of ruling themselves and should submit their sovereignty to their Great Russian cousins.
The sad part is that it seems that more and more Russians are actually buying this hideous thesis.
“Salo” actually means “farm” in Finnish.
LR, I believe that Anon. E. Muss was refering to special ED. The committee of socialists that travels around on a shortbus.
When they are not drooling on their bibs, they are randomly exited by the free meals that they are given. I tried to tell them that they can’t eat toothpaste for every meal, but they just won’t listen.
Hopefully one day we can let them out of their padded cells and straight-jackets, and they will become productive members of society.
I’m starting to think that Obama was elected because we didn’t catch them all. I am willing to bet that as a collective, their contributions to society would be a net loss.
If I could file that loss on my taxes, I would never have to work again.