Annals of Shamapova

Maria Sharapova explains herself

Maria Sharapova explains herself

READ MORE COVERAGE OF MARIA’S SHOCKING EXPLOITS HERE.

The feeble Maria Sharapova, who is just about to drop from #9 to #10 in the world rankings (and who has protection from being booted out of the top 10 entirely only because #11 is her even more pathetic countrywoman Nadia Petrova) has announced she will not play the first grand slam tournament of the year, in Australia. She attempted to blame her withdrawal on a nagging shoulder injury, then admitted in fact it’s just plain cowardice:  “My shoulder is doing great, but I just started training a few weeks ago and I am just not near the level I need to be to compete at the highest levels.”  In other words:  “I might struggle so I’m going to hide instead.”

Shamapova also skipped the final grand slam event of 2008, in New York, after being ousted in the second round at Wimbledon in easy straight sets by a player not ranked in the world’s top 150 and being whipped in the quarterfinals in Paris.  Both ejections came at the hands of fellow Russians (if that term can be used in regard to a person who spends all her time in the USA).

Shamapova hasn’t played in a tournament in over five months, and hasn’t won a tournament since she took the lowly tier II event at Amelia Island in April 2008 by beating a player not ranked in the world’s top 30 in the finals.  She hasn’t had a match victory against a top-ten opponent since she beat world #8 Daniela Hantuchova in March 2008. She hasn’t beaten a top five player since doing so to win the Australian Open a full year ago.

Luckily, Shamapova has her natural class, grace and elegance to fall back on as her athletic career goes the way of the Russian ruble.

* * *

In other tennis news, Venus Williams thrashed a pair of Russians at the JB Group Classic 2009 tennis competition in Hong Kong over the weekend, to seize the team title for the Americans.  Brutally dominating both Vera Zvonareva and Anna Chakvetadze as well as top-ranked Jelena Jankovic from Russia’s “Slavic little brother” Serbia, Williams showed the Russians to be second-rate pretenders in the rarified world of true tennis greatness.

5 responses to “Annals of Shamapova

  1. Avel Yenukidze

    Oh, just admit it LR-

    You are envious of Sharapova because you know you will never look as good as her again….

    You have to bang your fingernails thousands of times typing away at keyboard while all Sharapova
    has to do is turn around and show her brains
    to the camera for big $$$$.

    “New York state-of-mind” is infecting you with
    capitolist GREED and ENVY.

    I implore you to rise above this decadence
    as Mother Russia calls to you.

    I give you Alexandr Nevsky
    so that you may redeem yourself:

  2. While I applaud the exposure of human rights abuses, corruption and other misdeeds in Russia, I wonder what this story has to do with the general theme of wanting to see the neo-Soviet Union fall?

    Once the system is thrown down, the people will still be there. Yes, Sharapova is not in Russia much anymore, but why do we want to point out that she is a loser? Are we mad that she is not in Russia helping to change the system. Jusging form this article, could not someone argue that she has become a lazy glutton of rich western lifestyle?

    Really what is your point? I do not follow this player much and have no allegiances. I also wouldn’t rip on Andy Roddick because I don’t agree with the policies of the US.

    This sounds like hate of all Russian’s and not the unfortunate political-economic state of the country. So why don’t we just nuke them, so that we can rid ourselves of their crummy state and their crappy people (especially the tennis players) all at once?

    LR would do much better to concentrate on stories such as Natalia Estemirov’s than this tabloid style crap!

    Bore me with your response!

  3. Apparently, kimmie has no idea that when athletes undergo shoulder injuries, or injuries of any kind, for that matter, they usually drop our of competition for physical therapy and rehabilitation. In the American NFL, for example, some 60 – 75 players will undergo treatment for injuries and drop any from 5-10 games to the remainder of the season. This in itself is a non-issue. But leave it to LR to try feebly to make it one.

  4. hay seneor maria mae nem ths ward to syria tankyu

  5. Russia is a great country as well as America all countries have their faults. Maria will always be a winner in my book. The flight of the human who excels at something demonstrates their ability to be recognized and admired rather than petty lashes of an uncivilized tongue. A country is great by its people being able to rise above the obvious & vulgarian slandering of others.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s