Daily Archives: February 11, 2007

The Sunday Satires

Bill Clinton called Vladimir Putin “a man we can do business with.”
Thanks for the great leadership, Mr. Bill! And hey Dubya, way to go
following the advice of Slick Willie!

Source: Elkin.

Source: Ellustrator.

The Sunday Funnies

The doctors on M*A*S*H used to crack jokes while up to their elbows in blood, so perhaps from time to time La Russophobe shall try to do the same. Hence:

In the top frame, Putin calls: “Connie, Connie, Connie!”
In the bottom frame he asks: “What are you doing here, I was calling for my dog.”
“Connie,” the English name Putin has chosen for his pet pooch,
is a homonym in Russian for “horses.”

Source: Ellustrator.

Sunday Literary Supplement: Annals of the Gulag Legacy: Russia and the Moderates

More and more these days, La Russophobe begins to understand what Martin Luther King meant when he wrote in his Letter from Birmingham Jail that “white moderates” were more dangerous to the cause of racial justice for blacks than members of the KKK. The same can be said for the cause of political and social justice in Russia. Writing Professor Michael Scammell of Columbia University is a classic example. He’s published a review of Martin Amis‘ brilliant new book about the gulags, namely House of Meetings, in the Moscow Times.

Suppose you came across the following paragraph in a book review in your local newspaper:

Not long ago, the London-based Nazi novelist Zeger Zink speculated in the quarterly journal Kriticheskindumf Masshof on Western writers’ fascination with “wicked Naziism,” concluding that it rested ultimately on envy: “For holding the wrong views in Nazi Germany you could be exiled to a concentration camp or executed, but the poet’s status as a superior being who conversed with tsars (and accordingly possessed real political power) was never in question.” In other words, the writer in Germany seems to count for something, whereas Western writers feel superfluous and marginalized.

If you read that in a newspaper today, you’d probably be put off, wouldn’t you? Maybe even offended? If you were someone who’d been brutalized by the Nazis, you might even consider doing vomiting, might you not? Well, that did actually appear as the lead paragraph to Scammell’s review of Amis (with Russian references instead of German ones), and seems to imply that Amis may have an overly negative view of the Gulags, which murdered more Russians than Hitler, because he’s jealous of Russian writers having it so good. The suggestions that (a) Western writers are fascinated with Russia (b) because they are jealous of it are totally false.

The vast majority of Western writers, and in fact Western people, couldn’t care less about Russia and haven’t got the vaguest clue what Russian writers are writing about or why. This, you can be sure, is the cause of very considerable bitterness on the part of folks like Professor Scammell who’ve made the mistake of giving their lives over to trying to convince people how great Russian writers are. Like the man sang: “The glitter rubs right off and you’re nowhere.”

And the idea that Russia, as presently constituted, isn’t in fact evil, that it is all just a giant misconception in the tiny little ape-like minds of those not clever enough to be anointed by Professor Scammell is such blatant B.S. that it cries out for screaming. What we see in Russia today is a country embracing not only the horrific disparity of wealth that brought the Tsarist regime to its knees, but simultaneously the horrific legacy of totalitarian oppression that brought the USSR to its knees. We see Russians blithely turning their backs on the abolition of local elections, the destruction of television media, and the murder of dissidents like Anna Politkovskaya, to say nothing of the hoarding of vast quantities of wealth by a clan of elites while the nation loses 1 million people every year to disease and pestilence of every description. In other words, we see the face of evil.

And we hear Russophile propagandists rationalizing that evil by saying it doesn’t exist, but rather is a figment of the jealous imagination of Westerners who just wish they could be as cool as Russia is. Propagandists who just might be enabled by this writing professor we have right here before us, even though he’s not actually one of them. Remember about the “white moderates”?

Scammell (pictured, right), though, is a Russian translator and biographer of Solzhenitsyn, so he obviously cannot be a crazed Russophile maniac, and indeed makes two important points in his review. First, he admits that the current body of literature on the Gulag is inaccessible to modern readers both because of its obscurity and its self-censorship, and that Amis is performing an important service by rectifying this problem. And he concludes his review by, to his credit, praising the accuracy of Amis‘ documentation of the crude barbarity of Gulag life, covered up by cowardly Russians for so long. Yet his last paragraph returns to his opening theme and reads:

The only place where I would fault Amis in this regard is in his blanket condemnation of Russia during and since the Soviet era. His inclusion of the Beslan school massacre purports to show that Vladimir Putin’s Russia is barely better than its Soviet predecessor, while the narrator’s nihilistic bloodlust and sexual sadism are made to appear those of a Russian everyman. It’s as bleak a picture of Soviet and post-Soviet Russia as one is likely to find in print today. Yet fascination and imitation suggest admiration. Amis‘ is a frustrated love of Russia. His bitter arraignment of Russia’s tragic past and chaotic present suggests not hopelessness, but a desire for an awakening of Russia’s moral conscience, and a search for a way back to contrition and redemption.

So, to his credit, Scammell is able to recognize that Amis, like La Russophobe, is writing so much harsh stuff about Russia because he wants to induce it to change. But Scammell apparently feels (though he won’t say it in so many words) that if there’s any hope for Russia then we should speak some whispers of love into Russia’s ear together with our criticism, which should be phrased in only the most gentle and respectful of verbiages, or else the poor helpless little Russian turtles will just pull themselves into their shell and destroy themselves. If so, LR dares to wonder: Is there anyone on Earth who has more pure patronizing contempt for Russians than Professor Scammell, and isn’t it clear that it’s Amis who is showing real respect for them (Amis and, of course, La Russophobe)?

Would Scammell adopt the same patronizing, flower-child-like attitude towards his students as he does towards Russia? If so, he must be quite popular with them: “Oh dear, did you feel depressed yesterday and couldn’t take the midterm? What a pity. You know, you’re a very valuable human being and I love you. Naturally you don’t have to take the midterm, you just spend a few hours meditating about how terrible world hunger is, and you’ll be sure to get at least a B+.” It’s the students of folks like this that end up on water towers holding rifles, and it’s the politicians rationalized by folks like this who end up destroying nations. Of course, all poor little misunderstood Russia needs is some love and deep psychological understanding from enlightened fellows like Professor Scammell, and they’d be sure to walk the straight and narrow.

Scammell, the writing teacher and translator, doesn’t reflect sufficiently on history. Gandhi had some success with a philosophy vaguely like this in India, but Scammell seems to overlook the fact that there isn’t the slightest evidence of any such success in Russia. There’s no evidence that anything, other than Amis-like unflinching confrontation, has ever moved Russians one iota off their path to self-destruction.

And Scammell overlooks the influence of psychology too — his own. It’s so much more pleasant and comforting to think that Russia just needs a little tweaking and things will be OK, that there’s plenty of rosy hope just around the corner, rather than to think massive effort and unpleasant confrontation is needed. That’s what Chamberlain thought about Hitler, hence Munich. It’s what appeasers always think. It’s the need of the brain to protect itself from shocks, to put it nicely. To put it truly, it’s cowardice.

F.Y.I., Christopher Hitchens attempted a hatchet job on Amis‘ last book about Stalin, Koba the Dread, and was dismantled in Slate by Anne Applebaum. For another review of House of Meetings, check out Thomas Mallon in the Washington Post or John Banville in the New York Review of Books.


The Times of London reports that the Kremlin is using blackmail tactics on the Litvinenko investigation, refusing to cooperate further in the investigation of the crime until Britain extradites Berezovsky and Zakayev. It could very well be that one of the reasons the Kremlin attacked Litvinenko on British soil was to position itself to make this demand thereafter, yet another good reason to kill him. Can you imagine what the Russophile maniacs would say if Britain refused to extradite a Chechen terrorist who participated in Beslan or Dubrovka until Russia sent Mikhail Khodorkovsky to London?

The Kremlin has linked its co-operation in solving the murder of Alexander Litvinenko to British help in extraditing exiled critics of President Putin. Russian officials demanded that Boris Berezovsky, a billionaire businessman, and the Chechen separatist envoy Akhmed Zakayev should be sent back.

The issues were raised at a meeting in Moscow between Alistair Darling, the Trade and Industry Secretary, and Alexei Kudrin, the Russian Finance Minister, to discuss trade links. Mr Darling is the first Cabinet minister to visit Moscow since Litvinenko was poisoned with radioactive polonium210 in London in November.

“We did discuss the case and, in parallel, the Russian requests for their own extraditions. In relation to the Russian requests, I said very clearly that that was a matter for the British courts and ministers can’t intervene,” Mr Darling said. “In relation to the Litvinenko case, the Crown Prosecution Service are looking at that and will decide on the evidence what action is appropriate. “What Mr Kudrin and I did agree was very important was that both countries ought to cooperate with each other. Russia has asked Scotland Yard if they would cooperate with Russian authorities and John Reid [the Home Secretary] has indicated that would be the case.”

Three attempts have been made by Russia to extradite Mr Berezovsky, who has political asylum in Britain and is one of the most vocal critics of Mr Putin. British courts have rejected the application each time. Russian authorities appear determined to link the inquiry by Scotland Yard into two Russian businesmen who are suspected of involvement in Litvinenko’s death with British willingness to assist in handing over Mr Berezovsky, who is wanted for crimes in Moscow.

British detectives interviewed Andrei Lugovoy, a former KGB officer, and his business partner Dmitri Kovtun in Moscow. They have sent a file to the Crown Prosecution Service, which is understood to have identified them as key suspects in Litvinenko’s killing. A decision to prosecute will require the extradition of both men, which Russia says is impossible. The Russian Constitution bars the extradition of citizens to face trial abroad. Yuri Chaika, the Prosecutor-General, has said that Scotland Yard will be allowed to return to Moscow only once his team of prosecutors has been allowed to question potential suspects in London.

The Foreign Ministry in Russia complained on Wednesday that Britain was obstructing its attempt to send prosecutors to London to interview more than 100 people, including Mr Berezovsky and Mr Zakayev. Mr Darling said that the British Government was willing to grant permission for the Russian team to visit. Litvinenko accused Mr Putin from his deathbed of ordering his assassination, a charge that is denied strongly by the Kremlin. It accuses Mr Berezovsky of carrying out the killing. Mr Darling was leading a delegation of chief executives from 20 British companies and Richard Lambert, the Director-General of the CBI, for talks on investment in Russia’s booming economy. Business relations between the two countries are strained amid concerns about Kremlin tactics in exerting pressure on Shell to concede a majority stake in the Sakhalin-2 oil and gas project to Gazprom in December.

LReports Links of Interest


Google currently has well over 500 news articles from around the world documenting the outbreak of Cold War II, the one Russia can’t possibly survive, as Russia undertakes massive new spending initiatives on its military and Vladimir Putin rails against the US just like Nikita Krushchev at the U.N. Have a gander. Have some Pepto Bismol handy. The Kremlin is not only crazed enough to provoke the U.S. again, but crazed enough to ignore, just like the USSR did, the innumerable chronic social problems it faces in favor of military largess. Fool me once . . .


The Jerusalem Post reports that five Russians have been convicted for dragging a Jew to a cemetery and stabbing him with a cross. Meanwhile, the Catholic World News reports that non-Orthodox churches are under assault all across Russia. If you don’t belong to the “right” church in Russia, time to think about leaving . . . or converting . . . or getting yourself a bodyguard.

Racist violence continues unabated in Russia. Newsweek‘s correspondent Aidar Buribayev is the latest victim.

Reader Michel directs us to an analysis from the Canadian press on how the Kremlin controls Russia’s media.

Radar Online has a magazine feature on the various Russian oligarchs entitled “Dude, where’s my Tsar?” La Russophobe can provide the answer: He’s in the Kremlin. His name is Vladimir.


Robert Amsterdam writes that reports of Russian stock allure are greatly exaggerated. Western investors are finally wising up, it seems.


Playfuls.com reports that dogfighting, banned in the civilized world, is wildly popular in barbaric Russia. The New York Times has a report with photo. LR dares to wonder how long it will be before they start using people instead of dogs, and building coliseums. Come to think of it, maybe they already have done so.

RIA Novosti reports that, unable to find a Russian competent (or foolhardy) enough to coach its pathetic side, Russia turned to a Dutch coach in an attempt to reverse its humiliation on the soccer pitch. And what happened? Russia was crushed 4-1 by . . . Netherlands. Now that’s an ouchie!

More humiliation for Russian tennisistki. World #5 and tournament #3 seed Svetlana Kuznetsova was blown off the court in the quarter finals by an unseeded non-Russian at the Gaz de France tournament in Paris.


Carpetblogger asks: Why do Russian and Ukrainian women feel the need to dress like whores? Good question. LR would also like to know.